Americans are dumb, or at least the government thinks we're dumb.
Television is going digital in February, 2009 and if I see one more condescending, insane TV ad, “informing” me about the change over from analog to digital, I'm going to go postal on my big screen. OK, technically I don’t have a “big screen” It’s a 15 yr old 32 inch analog, not HD, TV. But I digress, whatever that means.
How this got to be this important, I don't understand. How we've gone this long, with all these “reminders,” without having an armed revolution, is beyond me.
These are the ads that will show up during a show on TV. All of a sudden your screen flattens a bit and some sort of scrawl will go across the bottom like those emergency broadcast messages.
The first time I saw that, I thought Jesus had come back. But it wasn't Jesus. It was Beelzebub, or his modern incarnation – the federal government.
Due to federal dictate, like the time they told us how many gallons of water could be in a toilet, the government has decided that on February 17, TV will change. Not all TV, just antenna TV. That's the kind your grandparents used to watch when they were sharecroppers. You had a TV and it had some wires and tinfoil sticking out of the top and if you turned them a certain directon, or had your portly cousin Louie touch it with his tongue, you could get snowy pictures, sort of, from a couple of counties over.
Apparently, some people still use antenna TV. My guess is that they're Dave Ramsey fans trying to pay off their debt. In America, the poor people have digital cable. The poor people working under the table, so as not to lose their welfare, have satellite.
The only ones left with an antenna are the ones who are worried about the FBI reading their brain waves. Or the ones who bet their brother they could live for a year watching nothing but Sanford and Son.
Anyway, apparently antenna people are really stupid, because they need to be told 80 or 100 times a day that they have to get a converter box by the middle of February. There is a website, there are television commercials, there are pamphlets, movie stars will remind you, it's on the radio, probably before long, members of Congress will come door to door to make sure people know.
Of all the things to make a public-information priority, how did we get this? Not disease prevention, not avoiding consumer debt, not avoiding e-mails from con men in Nigeria, but TV converter boxes.
It seems to me that people would be motivated to take care of this on their own. If they don't want their TV to go blank, they'll do what's necessary to keep it from happening.
It's as if this whole annoying thing is directed at the dumb and lazy. Make sure your TV keeps working. If not, it'll turn off. This is kind of a no-brainer. And it's kind of an individual responsibility.
Which is why I wonder why I have to pay for it. Not only does the nanny government keep reminding you to get a converter box, the nanny government is willing to pay for it. Each household can get vouchers for $80 to pay for converter boxes.
It's welfare for TV. I wonder, when they outlawed horses because of their carbon footprint, and we had to start using cars, did the government send around vouchers?
What possible responsibility is it of the taxpayer to pay for other people's entertainment? It's bad enough some people lay around the house all day watching Judge Judy, must I be taxed to give them $80 for their converter boxes?
I'm just frustrated by this. It is the biggest non-event since Y2K. And just as disruptive to what I want to watch on TV. Honestly, if I have to see another one of those annoying commercials I'm going to go around the neighborhood and start breaking down antennas.
Except there aren't any.
